Judging vs. Knowing What You Want: A Modern Christian Perspective

In today’s world, where social media reigns supreme and everyone seems to have an opinion, the word “judge” has become as controversial as pineapple on pizza. Take for instance this young man in this video has been "judged" for his reaction on a social media dating show. For modern-day Christians, it’s often a loaded term, laden with the weight of misinterpretation and a sprinkle of guilt. We’ve all heard the phrase, “Judge not, lest ye be judged,” taken from Matthew 7:1 (CSB): “Do not judge, so that you won’t be judged.” But what if, in our quest to avoid judging others, we’ve lost sight of the importance of having standards?

Let’s break this down, shall we?

Judging vs. Standards: The Great Distinction

First off, let’s get this straight: judging someone often comes from a place of condescension and self-righteousness. It’s the “holier-than-thou” attitude that leaves little room for love and grace. When you’re judging, you’re essentially putting on a pair of judgmental glasses that distort your view of the other person. You’re not just assessing their choices; you’re condemning their character.

On the other hand, having standards is more like wearing a pair of stylish, yet practical bifocals. You see the world clearly, discerning what aligns with your values without casting stones. The crucial difference here is that standards are about you and your personal commitment to your beliefs, while judging often involves a critical eye on others.

 Why Standards Matter

Standards are essential in any relationship, be it friendships, partnerships, or even your walk with Jesus. They act like guardrails on a winding mountain road—keeping you on the right path and preventing you from veering off into who-knows-where. Let’s face it: If you don’t have standards, you might find yourself in a situation that challenges your faith or leads you away from what you know to be true.

In 1 Corinthians 15:33 (CSB), it says, “Do not be deceived: Bad company corrupts good morals.” This isn’t just a warning; it’s a clarion call to set standards in your relationships. The people you surround yourself with can influence your discipline and devotion to Jesus. If you’re hanging out with those who treat spirituality like a buffet, picking and choosing what they like, you may find your own faith becoming a little… flexible.

The Demonization of “Judging”

Now, let’s tackle the elephant in the room: why has the concept of “judging” been demonized in modern Christian circles? Perhaps it’s because we’ve taken the words of Jesus and used them as a blanket statement to avoid accountability. In doing so, we've thrown out the baby with the bathwater.

When someone chooses not to associate with another due to their lack of discipline in following Jesus, it’s not always judgment; sometimes, it’s just a clear reflection of their personal standards. And that’s okay! It’s about knowing what you want for your spiritual life. After all, as Proverbs 27:17 (CSB) says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another.” If your relationships aren’t sharpening you, they might just be dulling your edge.

So, How Do We Navigate This?

Navigating the fine line between judging and having standards requires a little self-reflection and a sprinkle of humility. Here are some tips to help you along the way:

1. Reflect on Your Intentions: Before you make a judgment about someone, ask yourself why you feel that way. Is it a genuine concern for their spiritual well-being, or is it rooted in a desire to feel superior? If it’s the latter, put down the judgmental glasses!

2. Communicate Openly: If you’re distancing yourself from someone due to differing standards, consider having an open conversation. Who knows? They might not even realize how their actions clash with your values.

3. Stay Grounded in Scripture: Regularly immerse yourself in the Word (and not just for the sake of checking off a box). As Colossians 3:2 (CSB) reminds us, “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” When your focus is on Jesus, it becomes easier to navigate relationships with grace.

4. Remember Grace: Just as you desire others to extend grace to you, be willing to extend it to them too. In the end, we’re all works in progress, striving to be more like Christ.

A Call to Standards, Not Judgment

In the end, having standards doesn’t mean you’re judging others; it simply means you know what you want and what you stand for. It’s about being true to your beliefs while approaching others with love and understanding. So, let’s reclaim the word “standards” and recognize that there’s power in knowing what aligns with your faith.

Remember, we’re called to be the salt and light of the world (Matthew 5:13-16 CSB). Let’s shine brightly, not by casting shadows of judgment but by living out our standards in a way that attracts others to the grace of Jesus. Who knows? Your unwavering commitment might just inspire someone else to sharpen their own edge.